Shhh..TRIgirl 40 Something is in a Little Denial

More often than not, I've been eerily calm about the quickly approaching IMUSA date.

I am pretty sure it is some kind of denial. At best it is acceptance.

Yep, I've panicked here or there when completing some type of race preparation, like ordering nutrition or scheduling a bike tune-up. The hardest moments have been when someone has asked me if I am ready.

And I sigh or shrug. I can't say I am or am not. I am not thrilled with what that means either way, but I do know I've worked hard, struggling through the most challenging workouts I've ever attempted.

The shoulder is still feeling good. I had an incredible opportunity to swim at Guppy AS's Lake Gaston's paradise - a "not so torturefest" few days with Ironwoman Canada and several great training buddies - helping me to believe I could have a solid swim (for me) at Placid if I can overcome the claustrophobia of 2000 plus swimmers hitting tiny Mirror Lake (and if I could bribe the Real Deal to be a bandit and let me draft of him).

While I wish I had more time to work on climbing, I also know that too many more long mountainous bike rides without a bunch more good fun ones thrown in between might break my spirit.

After beginning to stabilize on new asthma meds, running is on the upswing. It is not anywhere near where it was at its best, but it is a heck of lot better than where it was even a few weeks ago. I could kick myself for not recognizing what was going on and dealing with it sooner, but am grateful that something finally clicked in my stubborn brain.

And in this non denial moment, I've let it register that in exactly a week, I'll be in the Peloton SUV with the Barracudas and the hubby.

But I'm still plugging my ears with my fingers about the following four days after our arrival in Lake Placid.

"la, la, la, la, la, la, la..."