A Conundrum of Feelings

In a recent post, Triathlonmom summed it up perfectly – sometimes it comes down to training – or blogging about training.

This week, I’ve been adjusting to our April schedule – of increased quantity and duration.

Physically, my body has made it through the workouts. Part of me has enjoyed the challenge. Part of me feels like my calves are going to explode.

For example, on Wednesday, Ironwoman Canada decided it was time for another graduation – to the third Masters lane. While I knew it meant being the slowest swimmer in the new lane – I also recognized that it would be an opportunity to grow. Her encouragement helped me realize that the challenge of keeping up with faster swimmers would be the right motivation to try harder – to push beyond my comfort zone to draft off stronger swimmers – like Coach B (who has kindly tolerated my efforts).

Or this morning, when I could have so easily justified (yeah – to myself) skipping the planned six mile run. Hey – I did some crazy speed workout on Monday with the Guppies (uh – lesson learned – ask about the goals for running quarter mile repeats before giving them your all) and I made it through Tuesday’s scheduled two hour bike/run brick workout. (Thank goodness for recently recommended muscle gel.)

So back to this morning – I dragged my sorry body out of bed to turn off the alarm. I completed the mileage – thanks to Coach G’s timely push to get my sluggish self moving during the first mile at the VITA course.

I almost started to feel a little proud of myself. Even if I rest tomorrow, after Saturday’s workout – I’ll have trained for 12ish hours this week. Look at me – isn’t that impressive?

Then I realized – under the best circumstances, I doubt I could ever complete Ironman Florida in less than 15 hours in ONE DAY. So, I have a loooonnng way to go before the 12 -13 hours expended THIS WEEK could even compare.

Waaaah!

Hang on, keep trying, don’t give up…