A Life Lesson

There are moments that leave you wishing you could turn back the clock or do things differently.

This week, I fired my cleaning people. For months, I'd come home and see the same stains on the floors or notice niches of my house that looked like they'd hadn't seen a dust rag in months.

Every once in awhile, I'd leave a note - "Please clean floors thoroughly" or "Bathrooms need some extra attention." There'd be a slight difference for that week, but the message never really carried over.

Then a month ago, I took a personal day to go to the doctor and run some errands. My doctor's appointment was for 9:30. I left around 9:00 and was home by 10:45. Within that hour and 45 minutes, the cleaning people came - and left. I had no idea how long they actually stayed - but I doubt it was more than an hour. As a matter of fact, when I told my neighbors - they were like, "We've been wondering whether to mention to you..."

So I left a note this week, asking for the key and thanking them for their service. To which I received the following back.

"We told you to tell us if we weren't doing something right, but you didn't."

Guilt. Even though I "thought" I did. Maybe I should have waited till after the holidays. Maybe I should have been more clear or given them another chance or issued an ultimatum. Or, or...

Then tonight, I found out that I was part of something that unintentionally hurt someone I care about and respect greatly. And though part of my part included trying to avoid such a thing from happening - I never took the time to double check - to make sure all the bases were covered and all the "i"s were dotted.

Generally, I am better about being on top of these type of things. The proofing, the fact checking, the editing - that is what I do all day long. There are excuses I could throw out about what happened - but they really don't matter. Honestly, I don't deserve, nor want, a pass here - I should have been more aware - more conscientious - more on top of things.

Because if I was that person, I'd be hurt, too.

Makes the whole cleaning people thing look ridiculous.

For now, I just need to look for a way to make amends, to apologize - and to take from this a lesson - to not let life's craziness get in the way of making sure to do the double-checking when it really matters the most.